Alternative Jobs

This recent experience of dealing with unstable employment has made me contemplate different job options. What would I do here in Madrid if there were no teaching jobs available? Here are some ideas:

1. A Metro Performer: I would borrow Xalba's or Juan's guitar and jump from one train car to another and sing/play my heart out.

2. A Random seller: I would join the Chinos and sell random things like umbrellas, squeaking toys, socks, etc. on street corners, Metro stations, and tourist areas.

3. A Bootlegger: I would join the Africans who sell anything fake (CDs, DVDs, designer purses, etc.) and run like the wind when the cops show up.

4. A Compra Oro guy: I would walk around the city center with two big cardboard signs (for the front and the back) hanging over my shoulders. The signs would say ORO in big letters and contact information, so people would know where to buy gold and jewelry and such.

5. A hooker on Calle Montera: I would put on my f**k-me boots, wear super tight jeans, and a short jacket with some kind of fur on it and hang around Calle Montera to wait for customers. Somewhere between McDonalds and the police station would be a good spot.

See there is nothing to worry about. I've got lots of options!

Disclaimer (yup, another one!): I am not trying to make generalizations here when I say Chinos or Africans. They just seem to be the ones doing these type of things. It doesn't mean they're bad, they're just trying to make a living. Plus, it's always funnier to be politically incorrect, which exist in this country in so many ways (I'm not a China, dammit!). So if you're offended, get over it!