I'm an asshole!

Do you ever have those moments when you think to yourself: Damn, I'm one lucky bitch! I had one of those today. I was bored so I went for a walk this evening, just wandering around in the center, when I decided to treat myself to some ice cream on the way home. I stopped at an ice cream shop I usually don't go to and met a Filipino girl working there. I was ordering my scoop of turron flavored ice cream, when she suddenly asked me, in Tagalog, where I was from. I had planned to eat and walk, but she seemed really nice and seemed eager to talk so I stayed and chatted (I think she got frustrated with my very broken Tagalog because she told me to just speak English).

We were asking each other the usual questions for foreigners: what are you doing here; when did you arrive; how long will you be staying; why did you come; etc. At some point in our convo, she tells me how difficult it is for her to be here. She doesn't like it at all because she misses the Philippines a ton and she would like to go home. She also can't go back and visit a lot because it costs too much - better to send that money home to her family than to spend it on airfare. Then she proceeds to say she has a husband and a 7 year old.

This poor girl! She's here all alone, working in a coffee/ice cream shop (she used to be in marketing in the Philippines) just to make a better life for her family back home. Ahhh so sad! And here I am whining about not being able to go to Oktoberfest, even though I've already been! Or bitching about being bored because I don't have a ton of work. Or getting all upset about feeling lonely because I don't have many friends here. Well, at least I don't have a husband and kids back at home that depend on my paycheck (I got corporate bastards waiting for my check but I don't care as much about them). And at least I can go home at least twice a year to see my family and friends. I felt like such an asshole when I answered the why are you here question with, "I needed to get away and do something different." I mean, really!!! But I wasn't going to lie to her and make up some sad story. That would just be worse.

How lucky am I to be able to come here just because I can! Passport control barely looks at my passport just because it's blue and has an eagle on it. People give me a job just because I speak pretty much native English. I live close to the center just because I can afford it. I'm able to enjoy this wonderful city just because I'm young, unattached and have no real responsibilities.

I swear, every once in a while, someone's gotta slap me around and give me some perspective!!!