Pre-Boarding

T-minus 2 hours and 20 minutes and I feel sick to my stomach. What the hell have I gotten myself into??!! I don't really know. I know in the end I'll be happy and things will be fine, but right now I feel nauseous. I don't know if it's a symptom of my anxiety, or if I ate something bad (that cappucino blast last night might have been a bad idea), or if it's "woman's trouble" (sorry, don't mean to be too graphic), or if it's my stomach telling me to feed it. The only thing that's making me feel better is that I can bitch about it here (thankgod for wireless internet) and listening to the girl next to me talk on the phone about holocaust and masturbation. She must be smart...she's using really big words and referencing books.

Anyway, I think I just need to get to Madrid so I can stop thinking about it. The anticipation is killing me. I just want to get there and get it over with. I've said way too many goodbyes the past week. If there's one thing I hate, it is saying goodbyes. I always get emotional and cry like a baby. If you had seen me after I said goodbye to my parents and my sister, you would have thought I was a freak. It was seriously pathetic. I was just walking around the airport crying uncontrollably. It was like Dwight in the Office, minus the horrible sounds. And just writing about it is making me cry again. Maybe this isn't helping after all.

But there is no turning back. I've got a one way ticket, a place to stay, and a class to take. And I would completely hate myself if I don't do this. I'll be back at a desk job and totally miserable.

Ok, I'm gonna go cry myself out before boarding so whoever sits next to me doesn't think I'm crazy...God, I hope he/she is not a talker or smelly. Or maybe I'll just go get People Magazine. Looking at the Sexiest Men Alive will probably make me feel a whole lot better.